週一嗎哪
服事全球工商界
2007.7.2
言語是大規模毀滅的武器
「週一嗎哪」過去談了許多次言語的使用與濫用。在今日的世界裡，全天候的電視和廣播脫口秀與評論性節目、網路和其他自我表達的管道不斷激增，所以這主題比以前更重要了。
最近有一個受歡迎但有爭議性的廣播脫口秀主持人，因在節目中所作的即興評論，受到嚴厲的批評。他所說的話本來是為了幽默及娛樂，但卻不能取悅指導此節目的道德團體。最後，那廣播評論員從他擔任多年的職位上被解僱。
有一句諺語是：「棍棒和石頭會傷及筋骨，但咒罵傷不了人。」此話應被廢棄，因這不是真的－－從來都不是。嚴厲、無情的話語所造成的傷害，比身體所受的傷害更痛苦、更長久，雖然這二者都不應該。
這問題當然也發生在各種不同形式的傳播媒體。夫妻間、父母與子女間或兄弟姊妹間，在生氣衝動時，或沒有仔細思考時所說的話，會造成家中相當大的痛苦。在職場中，大家的期待很高，工作的壓力也很大，情緒性的字眼常常像尖銳的刀刃深深地刺傷人。
無情話語背後的動機有很多，例如沮喪、敵意、羨慕、驕傲、嫉妒、憤怒。許多時候，一旦說出不適當的話，我們希望能收回，把它像垃圾一樣丟到窗外。遺憾的是，通常傷害已造成，苦毒的想法在腦中已留下一道深刻的痕跡。
這要如何解決呢？生活中有許多事都是無意識的，甚至包括不經意說出的話。我們能如何避免在與我們共事的人、所關心的人、甚至所愛的人心中造成言語的傷害？聖經舊約中的箴言有一些值得我們思考的意見：
保護你的話語如同珍貴的財物。就像那脫口秀的主持人，因不經思考的無情話語，而付出高昂的代價。我們也應了解不論那句話在當時多麼恰當，不三思而言會有嚴重的後果。事後才說：「我不是那個意思」是一個薄弱且不被接受的理由。「謹守口的，得保生命；大張嘴的，必致滅亡」（箴言13章3節）。
不讓情緒控制你的舌頭。要了解輕率、情緒性話語的潛在危險，這些話會讓你事後悔恨。在說出口前，先仔細思考所要說的話，可使你免於事後補救話語所造成的傷害。「寡少言語的有知識，性情溫良的有聰明」（箴言17章27節）。
有疑慮時，保持靜默。一位政治家曾說：「寧願保持靜默，被認為是笨蛋，也不要開口釋疑。」尤其在被脅迫或有情緒的情況下，我們很容易想到什麼就說什麼。然而，我們必需小心，不要說出自己負擔不起其損失的話語。「愚昧人若靜默不言，也可算為智慧；閉口不說，也可算為聰明」（箴言17章28節）。
思想 / 討論題目
你是否聽過「棍棒和石頭會傷及筋骨，但咒罵傷不了人」，或類似的話？你對這句話有何看法？
最近是否有人在強烈的情緒下，說出傷害你的話？或是你自己在強烈的情緒下，說出傷害別人的話？結果如何？
新約雅各書稱舌頭是「在百體裡是最小的，卻能說大話…是火；在我們百體中，舌頭是個罪惡的世界」（雅各書3章5-6節）。你是否同意這說法？為什麼？
你認為應該採取什麼步驟，才能避免因說出不恰當、無情或不經思考的話所帶來的毀滅性後果？箴言中的經文是否有幫助？
註：若你有聖經請看有關此主題的其他經文，請看：
箴言4章24節，10章19-21節，10章32節，11章13節，12章14節，12章18節，15章1節，16章23節，18章2節
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TEL：886-2-2581-4937 FAX：886-2-2542-4169
E-Mail：cbmc@ms26.hinet.net
MONDAY MANNA
A service to the business community
July 2nd, 2007
WORDS REMAIN ‘WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION’
By: Robert J. Tamasy
We have devoted several past editions of “Monday Manna” to the use – and abuse – of the spoken word. It appears that in today’s world, with the proliferation of round-the-clock TV and radio talk shows and commentaries, the Internet and other outlets for self-expression, this issue is as important as ever.
Recently a popular and controversial syndicated radio talk show host underwent severe criticism for impromptu comments he made on his program. The statements he had made, intended to be humorous and entertaining, failed to amuse members of the ethnic group to which they were directed. Ultimately the radio commentator was terminated by the network from the job he had held for many years.
There used to be an adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” It is time to put that saying to rest once and for all. It is not true – and never was. Damage inflicted by harsh, insensitive words often can be more painful and longer-lasting than striking someone physically, although neither is acceptable.
This problem is certainly not restricted to the various forms of broadcast media. Words spoken during an angry impulse – or simply without careful consideration – between spouses, parents and children, or siblings, can cause considerable pain in the home. In the workplace, where expectations can be very high and job pressures very intense, emotionally charged words often pierce as deeply as a sharpened blade.
Motives behind harsh words can be many – frustration, hostility, envy, pride, jealousy, anger. Many times, once inappropriate words have been given voice, we wish we could retrieve them like trash thrown out of a window. Unfortunately, the harm is usually already done; poisonous thoughts leaving a deep mental imprint.
What is the solution? So much of life is spontaneous, even words that are uttered carelessly. How can we avoid inflicting such verbal destruction on people we work with, care for, even love? The book of Proverbs, found in the Bible’s Old Testament, has some ideas well worth considering:
Protect your words as precious possessions. Just as the talk show host paid a high price for words spoken thoughtlessly and with extreme insensitivity, we also should be aware of the consequences of poorly considered comments, no matter how fitting they seem at the moment. “But I really didn’t mean how it sounded” is generally a weak and unacceptable defense. “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3).
Don’t let emotions rule your tongue. Remain consciously aware of the potential dangers of making rash, emotional statements you could later regret. Pausing to carefully consider what you are about to say can save you from having to try to undo or remedy the hurtful impact of words unwisely spoken. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered” (Proverbs 17:27).
When in doubt, keep quiet. A statesman once said, “Better to remain quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” Especially under duress, or in emotionally charged situations, we are tempted to speak thoughts as soon as they arise. However, we need to be cautious not to give someone a piece of our mind that we cannot afford to lose. “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).
Robert J. Tamasy is vice president of communications for Leaders Legacy, Inc., a non-profit corporation based in Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A. He is the author of Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace (River City Press) and has coauthored with David A. Stoddard, The Heart of Mentoring: 10 Proven Principles for Developing People to Their Fullest Potential (NavPress).
CBMC INTERNATIONAL: Robert Milligan, President
1065 N. 115th Street, Suite 210 ▪ Omaha, Nebraska 68154 ▪ U.S.A.
TEL.: (402) 431-0002 ▪ FAX: (402) 431-1749 ▪ E-MAIL: nbrownell@cbmcint.org
Please direct any requests or change of address to: www.cbmcint.org
Reflection/Discussion Questions
1. Have you ever heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” or something similar? How do you react to such a statement?
2. Can you recall a time recently when someone said something hurtful to you in a moment of intense emotion – or when you spoke harmful words to someone out of your own emotional state? What was the result?
3. The New Testament book of James calls the tongue “a small part of the body, yet it makes great boasts…a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body” (James 3:5-6). Do you agree with those statements? Why or why not?
4. What steps – if any – do you think you (or someone that you know well) should take to avoid the destructive consequences of expressing inappropriate, insensitive or inconsiderate thoughts? Are any of the insights from the verses in Proverbs helpful?
NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to consider some other passages that concern this topic, turn to the following passages:
Proverbs 4:24, 10:19-21, 10:32, 11:13, 12:14, 12:18, 15:1, 16:23, 18:2
A service to the business community
July 2nd, 2007
WORDS REMAIN ‘WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION’
By: Robert J. Tamasy
We have devoted several past editions of “Monday Manna” to the use – and abuse – of the spoken word. It appears that in today’s world, with the proliferation of round-the-clock TV and radio talk shows and commentaries, the Internet and other outlets for self-expression, this issue is as important as ever.
Recently a popular and controversial syndicated radio talk show host underwent severe criticism for impromptu comments he made on his program. The statements he had made, intended to be humorous and entertaining, failed to amuse members of the ethnic group to which they were directed. Ultimately the radio commentator was terminated by the network from the job he had held for many years.
There used to be an adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” It is time to put that saying to rest once and for all. It is not true – and never was. Damage inflicted by harsh, insensitive words often can be more painful and longer-lasting than striking someone physically, although neither is acceptable.
This problem is certainly not restricted to the various forms of broadcast media. Words spoken during an angry impulse – or simply without careful consideration – between spouses, parents and children, or siblings, can cause considerable pain in the home. In the workplace, where expectations can be very high and job pressures very intense, emotionally charged words often pierce as deeply as a sharpened blade.
Motives behind harsh words can be many – frustration, hostility, envy, pride, jealousy, anger. Many times, once inappropriate words have been given voice, we wish we could retrieve them like trash thrown out of a window. Unfortunately, the harm is usually already done; poisonous thoughts leaving a deep mental imprint.
What is the solution? So much of life is spontaneous, even words that are uttered carelessly. How can we avoid inflicting such verbal destruction on people we work with, care for, even love? The book of Proverbs, found in the Bible’s Old Testament, has some ideas well worth considering:
Protect your words as precious possessions. Just as the talk show host paid a high price for words spoken thoughtlessly and with extreme insensitivity, we also should be aware of the consequences of poorly considered comments, no matter how fitting they seem at the moment. “But I really didn’t mean how it sounded” is generally a weak and unacceptable defense. “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3).
Don’t let emotions rule your tongue. Remain consciously aware of the potential dangers of making rash, emotional statements you could later regret. Pausing to carefully consider what you are about to say can save you from having to try to undo or remedy the hurtful impact of words unwisely spoken. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered” (Proverbs 17:27).
When in doubt, keep quiet. A statesman once said, “Better to remain quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” Especially under duress, or in emotionally charged situations, we are tempted to speak thoughts as soon as they arise. However, we need to be cautious not to give someone a piece of our mind that we cannot afford to lose. “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).
Robert J. Tamasy is vice president of communications for Leaders Legacy, Inc., a non-profit corporation based in Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A. He is the author of Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace (River City Press) and has coauthored with David A. Stoddard, The Heart of Mentoring: 10 Proven Principles for Developing People to Their Fullest Potential (NavPress).
CBMC INTERNATIONAL: Robert Milligan, President
1065 N. 115th Street, Suite 210 ▪ Omaha, Nebraska 68154 ▪ U.S.A.
TEL.: (402) 431-0002 ▪ FAX: (402) 431-1749 ▪ E-MAIL: nbrownell@cbmcint.org
Please direct any requests or change of address to: www.cbmcint.org
Reflection/Discussion Questions
1. Have you ever heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” or something similar? How do you react to such a statement?
2. Can you recall a time recently when someone said something hurtful to you in a moment of intense emotion – or when you spoke harmful words to someone out of your own emotional state? What was the result?
3. The New Testament book of James calls the tongue “a small part of the body, yet it makes great boasts…a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body” (James 3:5-6). Do you agree with those statements? Why or why not?
4. What steps – if any – do you think you (or someone that you know well) should take to avoid the destructive consequences of expressing inappropriate, insensitive or inconsiderate thoughts? Are any of the insights from the verses in Proverbs helpful?
NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to consider some other passages that concern this topic, turn to the following passages:
Proverbs 4:24, 10:19-21, 10:32, 11:13, 12:14, 12:18, 15:1, 16:23, 18:2
posted by Shine Lin at 10:59 PM
