MONDAY MANNA
A service to the business community
July 31, 2006
HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO YOU
By: Rick Warren

One of the most common problems in the workplace, or in the home, is poor communication. Even your best ideas, plans or suggestions are worthless if you can't communicate them effectively. Every year companies lose billions in potential profits because they ignore outstanding ideas or suggestions from employees.

Communication is not automatic. Just because someone is hearing you say something doesn't mean they are really listening. Fortunately, there are seven skills all of us can develop that can help to ensure that people will listen to us when we speak. Interestingly enough, these simple, yet profound – and amazingly contemporary – guidelines are presented in the pages of the Bible:

1. CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME! Timing is the first key in effective communication. You may be ready to talk, but your audience ready, or even willing, to listen? Never drop a bomb – a startling, unexpected statement or announcement – that your hearers are not prepared to receive. "There is a right time and a right way to do everything” (Ecclesiastes 8:6).

2. PLAN YOUR PRESENTATION. Carefully think through what you intend to say first. When what you need to communicate is critical, take the effort especially to plan your introduction and supporting illustrations. Don't begin what you are going to say with cumbersome details that could obscure your primary objectives. Take a hint from TV, where directors move from the long shot to the medium shot to the close-up. "Intelligent people think before they speak. What they say is then more persuasive" (Proverbs 16:23).

3. BEGIN WITH HIS OR HER (YOUR HEARER’S) NEEDS. A listener is always asking questions like, "Why should I listen to this?" and, "How will it benefit me?" If you can answer these two questions at the outset, you will have your audience’s undivided attention – they will understand why what you have to say is significant to them. "Speak only...according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

4. LISTEN FIRST! We usually get into trouble when we make assumptions, especially when trying to communicate important information. Before you concentrate on what you intend to say, be willing to listen to the other side first and gain their perspective. "Be quick to listen and slow to speak" (James 1:19).

5. SAY IT POSITIVELY. No one likes to hear bad news. Learn to be both realistic and optimistic at the same time. You are never persuasive when you are abrasive, or negative! If you have bad news, say it up front in a factual, non-personal way. Then quickly move into a more positive, constructive mode. "The mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is" (Proverbs 16:21).

6. CLARIFY YOUR CONCLUSIONS. Summarize and recap what you’ve said to make certain that you have been properly understood. Be specific. Restate what you have decided on – and what you haven't – to ensure agreement. "Agree with each other in the Lord" (Philippians 4:2).

7. END WITH AN ENCOURAGING WORD. Exit lines – your closing words – are important. Even if the discussion was heated and both sides took some heavy shots of criticism, try to end on a positive, affirming note. "A word of encouragement does wonders!" (Proverbs 12:15).

Rick Warren is the author of the highly acclaimed, best-selling book, The Purpose-Drive Life, which has been translated into many languages and sold throughout the world. It affirms the importance of having a carefully considered, clearly expressed purpose to guide everyday life.
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Reflection/Discussion Questions

1. Rick Warren points out that hearing –which could be defined as the physical act of receiving sound waves – is not the same as listening – interpreting and giving meaning to what we hear. How often do problems occur at your workplace that you think could be attributed to the failure to listen?

2. The responsibility for listening does not lie solely with the “audience,” what communications experts call, “the receiver.” The speaker (or “sender”) also carries some of the responsibility for making sure that he or she communicates successfully. What practical steps do you think a person can take to ensure that people listen to what is being said?

3. How would you rate yourself as a listener? Explain your answer. What steps do you think you could take to improve your listening skills?

4. Do you agree that information, good or bad, should be communicated as positively as possible? Why or why not? How easy is it to communicate information in an affirmative manner, without trying to be manipulative or ignoring the realities of a difficult situation?


NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to look at some other passages that deal with listening and communicating effectively, consider the following:

Proverbs 15:1, 15:4, 18:13; Philippians 2:3,4; Colossians 4:6; James 3:5-6, 9-12



如何讓人留心聽你所要表達的

無論在職場上或者在家庭裡，彼此的溝通不良一直是個常見的問題。即使有絕佳的主意、規劃或建議，你如果無法有效的表達也是枉然。許多公司每年失去賺取值數十億美金的利潤，只因他們忽略了許多內部職員提出的寶貴意見。

良好的溝通並非自動生成，當有人聽見你所說的並不意味他們真的把你的話聽進去了，幸好 這裡有七個要點我們可以來力行以確保人人能留心聽進你所要表達的。值得一提的是，這些簡單，又有深度---卻又令人驚奇的當代---的首則都呈現於聖經裡。

一、選擇適當的時機：這是良好溝通的第一要務，你可能已經準備就緒，但是至於你的聽眾呢？他們此時聽得入耳嗎？請勿對你的聽眾投震撼彈 --- 即任何對未預備妥善的聽眾給予令他意外、突如其來的聲明 ”各樣事務成就，都有時候和定理” (傳道書 8 章 6 節)

二、好好計畫你所要表達的內容：首先用心思想你所要講明的當你所要表達的是具有關鍵性的，應盡力去規劃你的引言及輔助圖示，不要一開頭就提及一些會模糊你主要議題的瑣碎細項，要效法電視導播，將鏡頭由長距、到中距、乃至到特寫，“智慧人的心, 教訓他的口, 又使他的嘴, 增長學問”(箴言 16 章 23 節).

三、一開始即順應你聽眾的需求：聆聽者往往一開始會問“我為何需要留心聽這事?”及“這對我會有什麼好處？” 如果你能一開始就有效的對這兩個問題做出回應，聽眾將會專注留心聽你所要陳述的，因他們現已明白你所說的對他們有多重要。“只要隨事說造就人的好話，叫聽見的人得益。” (以弗所書 4 章 29 節)

四、留心聽先：當我們，特別是在溝通重要資訊時，所做出的種種假設往往讓我們陷入麻煩。 在你專心於你所要表達的之前，要首先留意聆聽另一方，瞭解到他們的觀點，“…要快快的聽，慢慢的說…”(雅各書 1 章 19 節)

五、正面、積極地表達：沒有人會喜歡聽壞消息，表達時內容要兼顧到能同時真實而且正面。 當你的話語尖酸而又負面時，你要表達的不會有任何說服力！如果有壞消息，可用務實、對事不對人的方式儘速表達，然後很快的帶入較正面、具建設性的內容。“心中有智慧, 必稱為通達人; 嘴中的甜言, 加增人的學問.” (箴言 16 章 21 節).

六、闡明你的結論：對你所說的作個總結並且確定聽眾確實明瞭你所要表達的。具體明確的總結出你們所決議的和未決議的。以落實眾人對結論的一致。“要在主裏同心.” (腓立比書 4 章 2 節)

七、以鼓勵的言語做結尾：結尾的那幾句是很重要的，即使雙方討論中場面激昂且言語有所指責對方, 請試圖以正面, 激勵的言語收尾 “…一句良言, 使心歡樂.” (箴言 12 章 15 節)

迴響/題目討論

一、華里克指出聽(hearing) --- 即物理上接收到聲波的動作，不同於用心聽(listening) --- 詮
釋我們所聽見的。你覺得在你的工作場所，因為沒有好好聆聽而導致問題發生有多麼頻
繁呢？

二、留意聽的責任並非全落在聽眾，學者稱之為”接收者”的身上講員(或”傳送者”)也需擔負
一部分的責任以確保成功的雙邊溝通，你認為有那些步驟能確保人人所聽見的，就是所
要傳達的?

三、你覺得如果給自己打分數，你是個怎麼樣的聆聽者？有什麼步驟能夠讓你在這方面有所
進步？

四、你同意無論消息好壞，皆需用正面的方式來表達？為什麼？你覺得以激勵的方式，而且
在不影響或忽視真實的難處狀況下，來傳達訊息的困難度有多高呢？

註:若你有聖經並且想要察看與此主題相關的其他章節, 請參考以下經節：箴言 15 章 1 節:5章 4 節 ; 18 章 13 節 ; 歌羅西書 4 章 6 節 ; 雅各書 3 章 5~6 節, 9 ~ 12 節